If you and your ex are still friends even after the relationship ended, then that’s a good thing. Friendship is always important and very few people have managed to accomplish this feat.
However, the past relationship might put a different twist to the type of friendship you can have. Following are some samples of when staying friends with an ex can be a bad thing.
Simply put, staying friends with an ex is done because you still want to be a part of their life. This may become difficult at some point because you will forget that you are no longer allowed to some things.
You will feel some resentment if they don’t call you often and you will need to accept that this just doesn’t apply with the two of you anymore. It is important that you change the way you think with this because this can only lead to hurt. If you still have feelings for them then staying friends with an ex would only suffocate them. For example, they can now start doing something you never allowed them to before like going bar hopping. Now, you are not in a position to do that and if you feel frustrated about this then chances are you don’t really want to be their friend and your ex will feel this. If you continue with this then chances are you will really lose them. Being friends with an ex only works if the two of you are still unattached. If one or both of you have new partners then it becomes complicated. No matter how confident the new partner is, remaining close with an ex would always make them feel threatened over the relationship. Your ex might also start to feel deserted because now there is someone who takes some of your attention that used to be theirs. Staying friends with an ex is OK as long as it doesn’t make you unhappy.
When staying friends with an ex, your goal here would be to create a clearly defined yet invisible boundary that would show what is allowable and what isn’t. If your new partner doesn’t want you and your ex to be sweet with each other then accept that decision and let your ex know that it can’t be done anymore. Also, it can be hard to divide your time between your ex and your current partner. Unless your trust is fully developed, your new partner would feel suspicious each time you spend with you ex. Talk to your ex seriously. Being friends doesn’t mean you have to be with each other at all times but instead simply having good rapport with each other. Staying friends with an ex is OK as long as you don’t neglect your current relationship, otherwise that person may be another ex.
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